self conclusion

I think part of me growing up, is learning that I can’t have things the way that I want them. That maybe people come into my life for a reason, and leave just the same.

Where will I be in ten years?
Who will I marry?
Will Chelsea and Sean still be ny best friends?
Will Andrew be a part of my life?
Can I find my identity?
Who am I??
Bam!

Seriously, everything going through my brain right now.

Merp.

How do I love you?

There are so many things that I need, and want, to change about my life. 

I need to learn to be more confident, and show off the good qualities that I do in fact have. It wasn’t until I started being friends with Andrew again, that I truly began to understand that I’m not always completely myself around others. I never realized that some people think I’m shy, and very nervous. In my moments of weakness, I told him my biggest insecurities. I shared those things with him, and he takes them as being all that I am. I hate that. I don’t want to be this person anymore. From this point on, I’m myself.

I’m Kristen. Flawed, but beautiful in every single way. I’m intelligent, funny, kind hearted and generous. I love with everything I am, but only if you let me. My trust doesn’t come easily, but once you’ve earned it, it’s there for good. I’m inquisitive, and a little paranoid at times. I’m dorky, quirky and at times, a little self absorbed, but all of these things make me who I am. I have a bad temper, I shoot my mouth off too much and have a tendency to fall too hard. Like it or not, this is me.

No, Kristen.

Don’t fall for him again, Kristen.

You’re just friends, Kristen. 

But I think I’ll always have a thing for him. :/

I love my biggie <3

I should probably delete Andrew’s phone number. However, I have a good memory so it’s lodged in there forever. Fuckkkkk.

I hate crying.

Goodbye all pictures of Andrew, all hopes I ever had of us being friends. It’s too painful to hold onto anything with him. But I guess if someone is that unforgiving, I probably shouldn’t have them in my life. Doesn’t change the fact that I miss him. 

But it’s been proven to me that he doesn’t miss me at all. 

What's your secret?: I love you. I’ve always loved you. I will always love you. I’m sorry...